October 13th
Yeah, I can’t f*cking sleep right now. I’m having like a semi-panic attack and debating on whether or not to take a valium. But I have such a long week ahead of me (until this weekend’s babymoon the bf planned). Today was one of those days at work where everything seems to fall apart and I had no one there for me.
Sometimes I get so damn lonely I start talking to my belly, but tonight was horrible. I’ve just been crying NON STOP and things seem to get progressively better and then as soon as the light hits I hit rock bottom. I HATE being bipolar. I really do. And right now, at least for the entire pregnancy I have just been depressed. The boyfriend is such a wonderful person, but he doesn’t get it, you know? No one does, except for other bipolar and pregnant women. And I don’t have any of those around me physically.
Well, anyway, I’m such a Debbie Downer right now. I just need to go to bed or at least try to and then just wake up refreshed. I’ve been on facebook all night staring at other people’s lives and figuring how much better it is to be them. And KNOWING that I’m right. I just hope that someday it gets easier, but I’m starting to overwhelm myself with past mistakes and possible future post-partum.
How are you doing? I hope much better.
I do have some good news, but I’ll wait on that.
Trinity
No comments:
Post a Comment